Learning to Relax: The Forgotten Skill We All Need
“I don’t know how to relax.”
It’s something I’ve said myself, and it’s something I hear all the time from others.
And really—how could we know how? In the U.S., we’re raised on lessons about hustle: how to meet deadlines, check off to-do lists, and maximize productivity. Rarely do we learn how to rest, unwind, or soften into the moment. Relaxation isn’t taught as a skill. It’s treated like a luxury.
But that cultural conditioning comes at a cost. Rates of anxiety, depression, and burnout continue to climb. Our bodies live in stress mode far more often than they live in balance. And it’s no wonder: we’ve been trained to stress, but not to de-stress.
The Science of Stress and Rest
From a scientific perspective, rest isn’t optional. It’s vital.
Your nervous system has two primary gears:
Sympathetic (fight or flight): where you hustle, focus, and push.
Parasympathetic (rest and digest): where your body repairs, heals, and integrates.
The problem is that many of us stay stuck in the “on” position. Cortisol (the stress hormone) floods the system, and our bodies start signaling imbalance through tension, fatigue, brain fog, or even chronic illness.
Studies show that intentional rest—anything from deep breathing to lying quietly—can lower heart rate, regulate blood pressure, balance hormones, and even strengthen immunity. Relaxation is not wasted time. It’s biological maintenance.
The Psychology of Relaxation
Psychologically, rest resets the mind. Constant productivity creates a loop of “never enough.” Your brain adapts to stress as the new baseline, making relaxation feel foreign or even uncomfortable. That’s why so many people say, “I don’t know how to relax.”
Breaking that loop requires re-training the brain. Just like you schedule work meetings or workouts, you can schedule rest. Even five minutes of stillness signals safety to your nervous system. Over time, your brain learns: slowing down is safe.
The Energy Healing Perspective
From an energetic lens, rest is more than absence of activity. It’s an active process of integration. When you pause, you give your energy body space to catch up.
Your aura settles and recalibrates.
Your chakras regain balance instead of running in overdrive.
Old stories and patterns have space to dissolve instead of being fueled by constant motion.
Rest is the bridge between doing and becoming. It allows healing energy to flow freely, without being blocked by tension or overstimulation.
An Invitation to Rest
So here’s your invitation: schedule relaxation.
Not because you’re weak. Not because you’ve “earned it.” But because rest is medicine.
Maybe that looks like one quiet morning a week with no plans.
Maybe it’s a daily 10-minute walk without your phone.
Maybe it’s five minutes of deep breathing before bed.
Start with what feels doable. Rest doesn’t need to be grand or perfect. It just needs to exist.
When you treat relaxation as a skill—not a luxury—you give yourself permission to heal, to integrate, and to come back to your life clearer and stronger.
✨ How do you invite rest into your week? Do you already schedule downtime, or is this something you’re just starting to explore?
You can read more of my reflections on energy, science, and wellness on my blog (link in bio). And if you’d like support in learning how to balance your nervous system and energy, I offer 1:1 virtual sessions where we explore what rest and healing can look like for you.
Thank you for reading! If this post resonated with you, I invite you to keep exploring—there are many more reflections and resources waiting for you on my blog.
I’d also love to hear from you—send me a message or share your thoughts in the comments on my social media posts. Let’s keep the conversation going.
And if you haven’t already, make sure to follow me on Instagram @wellnessbyjeri for insights, inspiration, and behind-the-scenes shares from my healing journey.
🌿 Ready to go deeper? You can also book a 1:1 virtual appointment with me to receive personalized support on your wellness journey.
With love,
Jeri
