The Ego: The Layers We Wear (and How to Gently Lay Them Down)
When most people hear the word ego, they think of arrogance, pride, or selfishness. But in reality, the ego is much more ordinary — and much more human. It’s not something to hate or destroy. It’s something to understand.
The ego is a protective layer we develop over time. It’s the set of identities and coping mechanisms we build to survive in a world that often misunderstands us, pressures us, or even hurts us.
Where Do Egos Come From?
From the moment we’re born, the world begins teaching us how to behave, what to believe, and who we should be.
Family and society tell us which behaviors are “acceptable.”
Religions and cultures hand us rules and labels.
Governments and politics give us categories to fit into.
Relationships shaped by trauma force us to build defenses, just to keep functioning.
Piece by piece, these influences form outer “shells” that become our ego.
The Language of Ego
Ego often shows up in how we identify ourselves:
“I’m [insert country].”
“I’m a die-hard [insert sports team] fan.”
“I’m [insert religion].”
“I’m [insert political party].”
None of these statements are “bad” on their own. But when we pile them up, they can fracture us into a patchwork of borrowed identities — while the real you gets hidden underneath.
Why We Build Them
The ego is not the enemy. It’s a coping mechanism.
Think of it this way: when we’re around people who are acting from their own wounds and trauma, our ego gives us tools to still interact with them. It helps us navigate conflict, protect ourselves, and keep moving forward.
For example:
Imagine you know someone who will never back down in a conversation. Even when they’re clearly wrong, they keep raising their voice and pushing their point until you shut down.
Eventually, you learn it’s not worth wasting your energy. Your ego steps in to protect you by creating a pattern: “Don’t fight this person. Just shut down.”
That response is your ego doing its job — keeping you safe, conserving your energy, and avoiding unnecessary pain.
But over time, if you carry that same “shut down” response into other relationships, it can stop you from speaking up when you actually need to. The tool becomes a cage.
What Yoga Reminds Us
Yoga — in its truest sense — is about coming back to the Self.
Not the self who is American or Indian.
Not the self who roots for a team or votes for a party.
Not the self who has to perform to feel worthy.
But the Self that exists beneath all of it. The divine essence that is always good, always whole, always enough.
When we begin to see our ego for what it is — a layer, not our core — we can start to gently set it down. This doesn’t mean rejecting our culture, our faith, or even our preferences. It simply means remembering: I am not just the roles I play. I am the being beneath them.
A Gentle Invitation
Notice the “I am” statements you use most often. Which ones feel authentic to your soul, and which ones feel borrowed from outside pressures?
What would it feel like to soften one layer today — and see who you are without it?
You are not your ego. You are the one beneath the layers.
✨ Thank you for reading! If this post resonated with you, I invite you to continue exploring—many more reflections and resources await you on my blog.
✨I’d also love to hear from you—send me a message or share your thoughts in the comments on my social media posts. Let’s keep the conversation going.
✨And if you haven’t already, make sure to follow me on Instagram @wellnessbyjeri for insights, inspiration, and behind-the-scenes shares from my healing journey.
With love,
Jeri
