How to Ease Your Tension Without Taking It Out on Others
We’ve all seen it—and probably done it ourselves. Someone snaps, gets jealous, lashes out, or spirals into frustration. These “shadow moments” aren’t random flaws in personality. They are the nervous system’s attempt to discharge built-up tension when we haven’t learned a healthier way to release it.
When people take their tension out on others—or even on themselves through self-criticism, shame, or destructive habits—it isn’t really about the other person at all. It’s about an internal world that doesn’t feel safe, calm, or at ease.
Think about it: if you corner an animal, what happens? It fights, flees, or freezes. That same primal survival mechanism still lives in us. When we carry too much physical and emotional tension, we react like cornered animals—freaking out, snapping, or shutting down.
The good news? We can learn how to release that tension directly, rather than letting it leak out sideways.
The Science of Tension and the Nervous System
Your nervous system is always scanning for safety or danger. When you’re holding chronic muscle tightness, shallow breathing, or pain in your body, your system reads that as a signal: “I’m not safe.”
Sympathetic activation (fight-or-flight): Tension keeps the body on high alert, pumping out adrenaline and cortisol.
Incomplete stress cycles: Without physical release (shaking, movement, sighing), the stress hormones linger in the bloodstream.
Stored emotion in the body: Neuroscience shows that unprocessed emotion is linked to tension patterns in fascia and muscle. This is why a stretch or a deep breath can suddenly bring tears—it’s a release of energy that was literally bound into tissue.
When you don’t find healthy release, the pressure builds until the smallest trigger sets it off.
The Energy Healing View
From an energetic perspective, tension is simply blocked energy. Your life force (chi, prana) wants to flow, but stress, trauma, or unprocessed emotion causes dams in the system.
Chakras and meridians become congested when we hold back expression. A tight throat may indicate suppressed communication. A clenched jaw might show unspoken anger.
Aura contraction: Tension pulls your field inward, making you feel less open, more defensive, and more likely to push energy out on others.
Shadow behavior: When this energy doesn’t move, it shows up as jealousy, anger, or frustration projected outward.
Releasing the body’s tension is an act of spiritual hygiene—it clears your energy field, restores flow, and reconnects you with safety.
Practical Ways to Release Tension
Instead of letting tension spill into arguments, jealousy, or self-blame, try these practices:
Yoga: Each posture wrings out stored tension from muscles and fascia. As the body softens, so do the emotions attached to it.
Breathwork: Long exhales or deep sighs tell the nervous system “I’m safe now.” This simple act shifts you out of fight-or-flight.
Shaking: Like animals after stress, shaking resets the system and discharges adrenaline.
Journaling: Emptying looping thoughts onto paper stops them from controlling your mind.
Creative expression: Dance, sing, paint, cook—channel the energy into movement instead of projection.
Nature connection: Grounding barefoot, touching a tree, or soaking in sunlight restores balance to both body and energy field.
Why This Matters
When we fail to release tension, we carry it into our relationships, workplaces, and homes. We snap at loved ones, judge others harshly, or internalize the stress as self-hatred. But once we learn to release it—through movement, breath, or energy healing—we shift the pattern entirely.
We stop being cornered animals.
We stop projecting.
We stop leaking energy.
Instead, we become grounded, open, and free to respond instead of react.
Closing Reflection
Tension itself isn’t the enemy—it’s a signal. It tells us that energy in the body wants to move. If we don’t move it consciously, it will move unconsciously, often in ways we regret.
Yoga, energy healing, and nervous system practices are invitations to reclaim this power. The more we practice, the more we build an inner world that feels safe—so that no matter what happens outside of us, we don’t have to take it out on others.
✨ Thank you for reading! If this post resonated with you, I invite you to keep exploring—there are many more reflections and resources waiting for you on my blog.
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With love,
Jeri
