Understanding Dissociation
Why It Happens, How Trauma Shapes It, and How We Begin to Heal
Dissociation is something many people experience without ever having language for it.
It can be as simple as realizing you don’t remember the last few minutes of a familiar drive.
Or washing dishes while your body keeps moving, but your mind drifts somewhere else.
Or scrolling, zoning out, or mentally checking out during repetitive or emotionally draining moments.
These are not signs that something is “wrong.”
They are signs that the nervous system is doing what it learned to do.
Dissociation is not a disorder by default. It is a learned nervous-system strategy that helps the body cope when being fully present doesn’t feel safe, manageable, or necessary.
Understanding dissociation allows us to stop judging ourselves—and others—and start listening to what the body has been trying to communicate all along.
What Dissociation Is (in Plain Language)
Dissociation is a shift in awareness away from the present moment or the body.
The body may still be functioning—driving, cleaning, working, talking—but internally, attention pulls back. Sensations dull. Emotions flatten or drift. The mind moves elsewhere.
On the lighter end, dissociation can look like:
daydreaming while doing dishes, folding laundry, or showering
zoning out during a familiar commute
mentally drifting during repetitive tasks
scrolling without really taking anything in
This kind of dissociation is common. Often it happens when we’re bored, tired, overstimulated, or simply on autopilot.
But dissociation doesn’t stop there.
The Dissociative Continuum
Dissociation exists on a continuum—from mild and everyday to more intense and trauma-based.
On the lighter end:
daydreaming
zoning out
mental drifting
autopilot
As stress becomes more intense, more frequent, or more prolonged, dissociation can deepen. At this point, it’s less about boredom and more about safety.
The nervous system begins using dissociation not just to pass time, but to protect the body from overwhelm.
To understand why this happens, we need to understand trauma.
What Trauma Actually Is (and How It Shows Up)
Trauma isn’t defined by how dramatic something looks from the outside.
Trauma is defined by how the nervous system experiences it.
At its core, trauma is overwhelm without enough support—especially when the body doesn’t feel able to escape, be heard, or recover.
Trauma can come from many sources. Some of the most commonly recognized patterns include:
Acute Trauma
A single, sudden, overwhelming event where the nervous system did not have time or support to recover.
Examples include:
car accidents
medical emergencies
sudden loss
assault or unexpected violence
natural disasters
Even when life appears to move on, the body may remain on alert.
Chronic Trauma
Stress or threat that happens again and again, without enough relief or safety in between.
Examples include:
ongoing conflict or instability
repeated criticism or emotional harm
long-term illness or caregiving without support
unsafe work or home environments
Here, the nervous system learns that vigilance is required just to get through daily life.
Complex or Developmental Trauma
Repeated trauma occurring over time, often during childhood or within close relationships, when the nervous system is still developing.
Examples include:
emotional neglect
being parentified or having to “grow up too fast”
inconsistent caregiving
chronic invalidation or not being believed
environments where love or safety felt conditional
This form of trauma often shapes how a person relates to themselves, their body, and others—and is closely linked to dissociation.
Big “T” and Little “t” Trauma
Some experiences are clearly life-altering (often called Big “T” trauma), such as war, assault, or major loss.
Others may appear smaller on the surface (“little t” trauma), like bullying, betrayal, infidelity, or repeated humiliation.
The nervous system does not measure trauma by intention or scale—it measures trauma by impact.
Collective and Intergenerational Trauma
Trauma can also be carried by families, cultures, and communities.
Examples include:
racism and systemic oppression
war, displacement, or genocide
historical or inherited trauma passed through generations
In these cases, the nervous system may be responding not only to personal experiences, but to long-standing patterns of threat.
Why Trauma and Dissociation Are Connected
Across all forms of trauma, the nervous system is doing the same thing:
trying to keep the body safe.
When the system senses threat, it shifts into survival responses commonly described as:
fight — anger, defensiveness, control, agitation
flight — anxiety, restlessness, avoidance, constant doing
freeze — numbness, shutdown, dissociation
Dissociation most often aligns with freeze.
In trauma-informed work, these are understood as states, not personality traits. They are not failures. They are learned strategies.
PTSD, Complex PTSD, and the Continuum
For some people, dissociation becomes more noticeable after a single overwhelming event. This is often where PTSD appears.
For others, especially when trauma is chronic or relational, dissociation becomes more woven into daily life. This pattern is often described as complex PTSD.
Rather than one event, the nervous system has learned to stay in survival mode over time. Dissociation here isn’t occasional—it becomes familiar.
Bipolar Disorder and Dissociative States
Further along the continuum, we see conditions like bipolar disorder, where people experience strong shifts in mood, energy, sleep, and perception.
From a nervous-system lens, these shifts can feel like moving between very different internal states—each organized around safety, threat, or relief.
These are not different identities. They are different nervous-system states responding to overwhelm.
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID)
At the far end of the continuum is dissociative identity disorder, where different parts of the self take turns being present.
This most often develops in the context of chronic, inescapable trauma, especially early in life, when no single state could manage survival alone.
Different parts carry different roles—not because the person is broken, but because the nervous system adapted.
The Thread That Connects the Entire Spectrum
From daydreaming…
to autopilot…
to PTSD…
to complex PTSD…
to bipolar disorder…
to dissociative identity disorder…
The same truth runs through all of it:
The body does not feel safe.
Dissociation is the nervous system creating distance when closeness feels overwhelming.
How Healing Begins
Healing dissociation does not start by forcing presence.
It starts with awareness and safety.
You may notice:
I’m drifting right now.
I checked out earlier.
My body feels numb.
That reaction felt bigger than this moment.
Sometimes awareness comes in real time. Sometimes it comes later, in reflection. Both matter.
The goal is not to stop dissociation, but to gently help the body learn that it is safe enough to return.
Gentle Ways to Support the Nervous System
When dissociation or overwhelm arises, the invitation is simple: help the body feel safe again.
Some people find it helpful to:
feel their feet on the floor
soften the jaw and shoulders
slow the breath
step away from stimulation briefly
Gamut Point Tapping
You can tap the gamut point—located on the back of the hand, between the knuckles of the ring finger and pinky—for one to two minutes while breathing slowly. This can help calm panic, anxiety, or dissociation.
Naming the state can also help:
“This is freeze.”
“My nervous system needs support.”
There is no rush. Regulation is a practice.
A Closing Wisdom
Dissociation is not something to eliminate.
It is something to understand.
It is information, not pathology.
Protection, not weakness.
As safety increases, presence returns naturally.
And healing unfolds—one regulated moment at a time.
✨ Thank you for reading! If this post resonated with you, I invite you to continue exploring—many more reflections and resources await you on my blog.
I’d also love to hear from you—send me a message or share your thoughts in the comments on my social media posts. Let’s keep the conversation going.
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With Love,
Jeri
